My family really tries to understand whats happening but I don't think anyone can really understand. Tonight I went and listened to wonderful music with my dad and sister and had a good time but still came back feeling empty. Its the consistent feeling of inadequacy, fear and loneliness that keep me awake at all hours of the night. I want to cry....
I went to a counselor and nothing. I told my mom and nothing. I cried and nothing felt any better. So then what do I do if I'm anxious and depressed and can't seem to relieve any of it? Well that's what I am still working on. I don't think there is any secret or rule of thumb for this stuff. I think it sucks for everyone of us and it is up to us to figure it out. I can't tell you how to get rid of your depression but I can work to find ways to help relieve some of mine. Thats why just going to a counselor isn't enough, you have to commit and really work for it yourself or nothing will change. Everyone says it and it makes me want to punch people in the face when they do. It's like "BLEH you don't know me!" but then when I say it to myself I'm more like "oh yeah that makes sense..." So don't let me tell you it, tell yourself later. Say it in the mirror loud and proud. But like I said, nothing I say really matters at all unless you have already made the decision to change and get better, be better. Good Luck, I know I need some. Sincerely -A Survivor
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A SurvivorA couple of stories and experiences from one of the many survivors of self mutilation, suicide attempts, and mental disorders and illnesses. Archives
February 2017
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